Judgments?

Note: I wrote this a few weeks ago...so imagine me just having returned from NY...

I'm sitting in the barber chair looking at the aging Eastern European woman (Bulgarian?) wondering why she seems so interested in me. Her blond hair is not very well dyed for a hairdresser and the makeup is barely making her look young enough to flirt with me. Then it comes out, "So if I marry you, I get green card, yes?" Yes.

Seems she's got the States on her mind. She has family in Washington, Virginia, and New Hampshire, and she's the only one still stuck in Europe. In London for 25 years. When she asks why I'm tan, I look at myself in the mirror and realize that perhaps I am tan compared to the Brits. I tell her I went skiing a few times. Excitedly she wonders where and I spill that I spent a long weekend in Austria. It used to be my great story to make the American's jealous. But the Europeans know better. She says, "That's good, it's cheaper there than Switzerland." And then asks how much I paid.

Anyway, she continues to ask probing questions. Where do I live? Oh, Balham is expensive. So what do I do? IT people in NY get paid very well, why would I come here? How much do I make?

That's (obviously) where I stopped the inquiry. Pretended to be shy. But she still wants to know. My father must have been very rich for me to grow up near New York. Do I have a big family? Am I here alone? Bring someone here with me? What's my name? I tell her "Dan." She giggles at my pronunciation (my name is quickly becoming Daniel because of the way I pronounce the letter "a" -- all wrong somehow).

Finally she finishes and I get up with a lot of hair still sticking to my forehead and right cheek. But to avoid any more questions I begin to shuffle off. "You are VERY tall? How tall are you?" She then points to the receptionist and yells to her, "This boy from NEW YORK. He is single. You can get greeeeeeen card. He is 6 foot 6 inch. His name is Daaaaaaaan. Hehehe." The receptionist shakes her head. She is British and doesn't care about my green card.